This is actually a list of questions that we imagine we would be asked frequently if anyone cared enough to solicit our opinion. Never one to be put off by indifference, we present to you the ultimate TerrorBull Games Wishful FAQ:
Customer Service F.A.Q.
- I've ordered a game and don't fancy reading this whole page before I find an answer. Can you quickly point me in the right direction? Absolutely. If your question concerns delivery times etc, do have a look at our delivery information page. If it concerns delivery of your game and that hasn't answered your question, then contact us here quoting your Order ID and we'll help you out personally. It will be our pleasure. For most other questions you may well find the answer below, if not, just get in touch.
- I've ordered War on Terror but I can't find the Axis of Evil spinner. We've hidden it in the same bag as the Terrorist pieces (where else would you hide it?) - take another look.
- How much will it cost to ship to (...)? Postage varies, naturally. Currently we have distribution in the UK, USA, most of Europe and Australia. See our shop page for more detail.
- I bought one of your games but it's missing a [something]. Sorry about that. If you got it from us, we'll replace it right away. Even if you didn't, we can usually help you out anyway. Get in touch, regardless.
- I bought one of your games but can't figure out how to play it. We have a constantly evolving FAQ for all our games, on their respective websites: War on Terror, Crunch. However, we are guilty of not keeping these as up-to-date as we should, so we recommend hitting the forums over at BoardGameGeek where you'll normally find some friendly help (if your question hasn't already been asked): War on Terror BoardGameGeek forums, Crunch BoardGameGeek forums
- I ordered a game from you, can I get a refund? You are entitled to a full refund right up to the moment of dispatch. Please contact us, quoting your order ID. If your game has already been sent to you and you want a refund, you may do so within 14 days, but you must bear the cost of returning it to us. The game must be unopened and as good as new.
- I ordered a game from you but it's damaged, what are you going to do about it? Despite our best efforts, occasional games have been damaged in transit. If you notice damage to the outside box please make sure it's noted when you sign. If you discover the damage after you've signed for it, take photos and get in touch. We'll replace it as soon as we can.
- Can I buy an extra Evil Balaclava and the Secret Message Pad without having to buy an another set of War on Terror? Demand for our balaclava's and pads has grown so much that we have bowed to popular demand and are happy to say that now, yes, you can get them separately - Feel free to go shopping crazy bonkers in our shop. So bring on the revolution through words and... warm head gear. But always remember to read the label in the balaclava...
- Where can I buy your game? Right here. Direct from us so it gets sent direct to your door. We deliver to most countries, to see the list start ordering here and the first pull down bar will tell you if we can deliver to you. Generally, unless you live 500ft under ground or on the moon we can send our games to your door. Here's our delivery information page which will help you.
- I'm trying to buy a game and can't find Norway or Australia on your list, don't you send games to Norway or Australia? What the hell is wrong with you? We like you too much, that's the problem. We could charge you ridiculous postage fees, because we would be charged ridiculous postage fees. But instead of that potentially ridiculous scenario we have teamed up with some very good people at The Nobel Peace Centre and New Internationalist. So if you are in Australia New Internationalist sell our games. And in Norway, the good folk at The Nobel Peace Centre in Oslo sell War on Terror. So it's best for everyone if you get in touch with them. Why not do it now before you forget?
- I'm a human and like human interaction, I want to walk into a shop and buy your games, where can I do this? Fair point, here is our ever growing list of stockists. It's a unusual stockists list for a board game publisher, that's because we make unusual games. They are embraced by an eclectic bunch of people all over the globe. We're with the largest gaming shop distributors in the UK, Scandinavia, the rest of Europe and the US. As well this we also supply a variety of bookshops, record shops, gift shops, museums, art galleries, gadget shops, cinemas and even the odd army and navy store. If you're passing, we even sell Crunch in the Deutche Bank HQ in London. You'll find it downstairs in the gift shop and laundering (sorry launderette) area. Who said the Germans don't have a sense of humour?
- I appreciate War on Terror is a signed for service so it would probably be most convenient to send it to my place of work. But I'm concerned about the sensitive nature of the game and my boss thinking ill of me. I don't want to get the sack or be called a leftie hippie for the rest of my days, can you help me? You crazy leftie hippie. The game comes discreetly packaged, so no one will ever know you are a leftie hippie. And you won't get the sack. Result.
- I'm currently deployed in Iraq/Afghanistan, do you guys ship War on Terror to APO's? Yes, we do. Just get in touch with us here and you can fight the long war in an evening.
- Shall I bother you with this link/magazine/newspaper article I've found that features your games - As I imagine you already know about it? Thanks for asking We always welcome news of ...news/reviews/sightings/articles or general slander. We're a small independent company and keeping track of what the world has to say is a big job. A lot of the time we're not contacted personally so we really do appreciate it when we get a heads up. Sometimes we never know what we're missing. And this could stop Andrew who is constantly buying Playboy, claiming 'one day they will write about us again, you'll see'.
- I have a bricks and mortar shop which sells your games, can you put us on your stockists list? Sure, just let us know and we'll put you on the list, it will be great to hear from you.
- We are a distributor/stockist and would like to distribute/stock your games, can we? Yes, contact us here and lets talk. The more people that get to play our games the better. Having said that, we might want to check out your 'reputation' before we seal a deal, just to see that you're not running arms, poisoning people or have any other disreputable habits.
- I run a shop/event and would like you to attend it for demo's/signings/Q&A sessions etc, can I invite you? Yes, we can't help ourselves when it comes to talking about our games, we love them. Simply get in touch and we'll see what we can work out. Thanks for asking.
TerrorBull Games F.A.Q.
- Why board games? Why not?
- Why not computer games? We have nothing against computer games as such, but despite the amazing technology, it's still not the same as staring someone in the eyes across a table. There's something powerful in the simplicity of traditional games. Plus, when the oil runs out, we'll need something we can play by candlelight.
- But I play games as a form of escape. I don't want to deal with life's crap when I'm playing. Fair enough, but imagine someone saying the same thing about the act of reading - you'd probably deride them as a Twilight fan. You want to be the boardgaming equivalent of a Twilight fan? Why are games about escape? What do we gain - personally or collectively - from escape? Games are becoming part of the social and political discourse; get used to it.
- You shouldn't joke about the sorts of subjects you deal with. Do you really think war/terrorism/crime/civilisation collapse is funny? There's a world of difference between using humour to tackle a subject and finding the subject funny in itself. Not semantically, maybe - and that's a loophole exploited by many a reactionary commentator - but logically, philisophically, idealogically, the question doesn't even make sense.
- I'm offended by [choose your posion]. What are you going to do about it? Offense is a strange watch-word of our age. What does it mean, exactly? If we mock Nazi sympathisers, wouldn't they be offended by our lack of respect? Does their offence imply that they are deserving a level of protection or special treatment? Of course not. In short, if you're offended - and you don't belong to one of those groups of people that we absolutely intended to offend - then sorry, it was unintentional. But, you know, you don't have an innate right not to be offended in life. Suck it up. Even if you're in the Novelty Kitten-themed Calendar trade, you'll always find someone to be offended.
- Can I work for you? Yes... Oh, what? You want to get paid? Do you accept 'profound respect' as a form of currency? We've had many kind individuals do all sorts of things for us, from recommending shops, to demonstrating our games to acts of obscene generosity like organising a War on Terror tournament. All these people have been immortalised in TBG's collective memory, as well as in tapestries, statues and company holiday days named after various volunteers. If you fancy joining this elite team of selfless workers, you know what to do: Get in touch
- Do you accept submissions? At the moment we are concentrating on realising our own ideas. But we love to hear from other satirical and political game designers, so please get in touch. If it's a killer idea you never know... but our means are limited and our goal of becoming a publishing channel for satirical game designers all over the world is still a way off.
- Can you sign this NDA before I tell you anything about my idea? You'll just have to trust us, I'm afraid. The problem here is that there are a finite amount of satirical games that could be made (and believe me, we have quite an exhaustive list of ideas) so the chances of your submission overlapping with an existing work in progress is too high to risk. Rather than refuse all submissions, we would rather make this clear to people and hope for mutual trust and understanding on both sides. Plus, any company in the practice of ripping people off, will also probably be in the practice of having lawyers on the payroll and most NDAs aren't worth the paper they're written on. If you want to protect your ideas, mail them recorded delivery to your accountant or solicitor (or even yourself) and instruct them to keep it sealed
- Can you tell me about the game you are developing now? Yes we can, The working title is currently 'Totalitocracy', it's going to be another full board game in the mold of War on Terror. We're still in alpha testing but the early signs are pretty good. It's fun. Very dark and very funny. It tackles the erosion of civil liberties coupled with increasing authoritarianism. The state versus the individual type of affair. Do you want to be involved? If so get in touch. We do have a testers list if you'd like to sign up. We should warn you we do most of our games testing in and around Cambridge (UK) were we live. So sending our first prototype to Zanzibar for you to play may not be overly practical. But on the upside when we do test it's usually at one of our houses so you'd be welcome over to ours. It could be the chance you've been waiting for, to get us drunk.
Got a question that isn't covered here? Please contact us.