TerrorBull Games Blog

Print and Play: 'Mosqopoly'

Mon, 30 Aug 2010 12:00:00 GMT

Following the recent craziness surrounding the 'Ground Zero Mosque', we decided to make another print-and-play game. You know what they say, ridicule is the third-best weapon against ignorance; vigilance and education being the first two (strangely, Wikipedia has the AK-47 listed as #4).

The premise is simple. If the building of the Cordoba Cultural Center really is the ultimate victory for Al Qaeda, then we have to conclude that 9/11 was all about making room for such a centre. And that kind of makes sense. You know what New York bureaucracy's like. It'd take forever to get planning permission for a 13-floor mosque at the WTC .... unless .... unless it's a building site anyway. Then, hey, the bulldozers are already there. May as well build something in its place, right?

First they came for our freedom, then they came for our women, then they came to disregard our local planning laws ...

Download: The Entire Game (PDF 14Mb) or separate sheets: Game board (PDF 5mb | JPEG 1.1Mb), Bits & Pieces (PDF 4.8Mb | JPEG 1mb), Instructions (PDF 4Mb | JPEG 860Kb)

This is Mosqopoly. It's a stupid game of racism, hysteria and bigoted falsehoods, so perfect for breaking out at those tea-party meetings we know you secretly attend.

"Many people thought the attacks of 9/11 were about terror, but the truth is far more sinister. Yesterday, extreme Muslimists built a Giant Mosque, planted like a victory flag, at Ground Zero. That's right, the flattening of the World Trade Center nine years ago was part of a broader Islamofacist terror plot designed to circumvent local planning laws and lower the notoriously expensive NYC ground rent at the same time. Why? So that the entirety of downtown Manhattan can be turned into the world's biggest mosque - a project they refer to as The Giant Mosqtapus. If we don't stop this Megamosque now, it's tentacles will strangle the life out of this, the greatest city, in the greatest country on earth. Only you can stop Mosqopoly!"

As ludicrous as the current situation is becoming, it's worth bearing in mind that Noam Chomsky says he's "never seen anything like it". Glenn Beck's Christ complex has finally got out of control, angry mobs are harassing any dark-skinned man who happens to stray within half a mile of Ground Zero, Muslim taxi drivers are being stabbed and mosques are being burnt down. Never underestimate the power of organised ignorance.

By the way, if anyone actually prints these games off and plays them, we'd love to get your feedback and send us photos too. Any photos. We just like pictures.

Enjoy!

P.S. For posterity, here's the link to our first print-and-play game: Operation: Bullshit Plug

We've always encouraged house rules and personalisation of our games, but we didn't expect this...

Thu, 12 Aug 2010 12:00:00 GMT

Back in 2008 we visited Essen in Germany, to snoop around the toy fair we were banned from. When we were there we had a great games evening in the shop Fantasy En'counter hosted by our good friend Holgar. There we met two great guys who had developed their own cards for War on Terror. We didn't realise it then but this was just the beginning for them...

Just recently we received the most amazing package in the post. We soon realised our German friends had been very busy since we last met. Very, very busy. They've been rather taken by War on Terror, so much so, that their original collection of lovingly illustrated cards (as if this wasn't enough in itself) has now been developed somewhat. This new package contained a 21 page card appendix translated into English, 53 (yep you read it right, that's 53) all new Empire and 13 Terrorist cards, as well as new ideas and cards for 'Terrorist Leaders' and 'Mission Cards'. And last but not least the package included a Defcon playing system influenced by the news that we were working on a Threat Level System ourselves. We have officially been blown away, and Tom our illustrator is reading the job pages more than ever before.

Take a look at some of the cards on the right and you'll begin to get a feel for the passion and time that these guys have put in. We are humbled and salute these two fine Germans. At the same time we are a little worried for their sanity. Although speaking from experience we think that the loss of sanity they may have experienced is a natural by product of spending so much time working on and developing rules for such a ridiculous board game. Gents, we now need to lie down and recover, everybody else carry on. The world is not normal.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:
Chaps, can you get in touch with us, let us know your contact details and we'll reciprocate and send you some goodies in the post? We love your style and it should be rewarded.

We're in the money!

Tue, 20 Jul 2010 12:00:00 GMT

Or to be more precise, 6 brave folk are in the money. So a million thanks to everyone who took part in our experimental money auctions - whether bidding, watching or spreading the word around, your participation was vital and we're very grateful for it.

We weren't really sure what to expect, but in the end you helped us raise over £914.55 for Amnesty International, which is pretty damn good! Congratulations, new money people - you've done us proud and you've helped out a great cause too.

If you're interested in seeing the completed auctions, they'll be available here for a while: 5m, 10m, 20m, 50m, 100m & 500m

As I type, we're exporting all the artwork for War on Terror edition 2. It's terribly exciting, we can tell you.

Talking of new stuff, we have more exciting news. The TBG website - originally used as a front to kid prospective investors that we really existed - is getting a long overdue redesign. That's coming soon.

For those of you wondering, this does indeed mean that our existing stocks of War on Terror edition 1 are dwindling. The total print run was 25,000. Not bad going for a game that no one wanted to touch with a shitty stick ...

Anyway, we've boxed up our own pristine-1st-editions and stuck them in the attic for safe-keeping. If you're of a particular archivist or OCD bent, bear in mind that this is your last chance to secure a copy of the original version to preserve for all eternity. Quick! History depends on you!

Finest damn sales pitch ever.

War on Terror at the Secret garden Party, UK

Mon, 19 Jul 2010 12:00:00 GMT

It's that time of year again, well, it's July in the year of 2010. So it's about time we had a War on Terror outing. We're going to come out of our bunker, blink in the sunlight, stretch our legs and then jolly well take War on Terror on the road.

Well, we're sending Tom out at any rate, it's too risky for the rest of us right now - we're working on Edition 2. And we only really trust Tom on his own to go as far as Huntingdon, so he will be appearing at the Secret Garden Party, in the depths of the Cambridgeshire countryside all alone. Make sure he doesn't get lost if you see him.

If you're passing, come to the Explorer Tent between 8pm and midnight this Thursday 22nd July. There will be War on Terror set up and ready to play. Tom will be on hand to answer any questions you might have concerning the games rules, cunning techniques on how to lose or just gawp as the chaos inevitably unravels throughout the evening under Tom's masterful hand. Either way, enjoy yourselves.

An Auction for Infamy

Fri, 02 Jul 2010 12:00:00 GMT

Who hasn't dreamt of seeing their face on a bank note? Well, like the Internet gods we are, we can make that dream come true, right now. And we don't mean just making a bank note out of a mirror. Think we speak of witchery? Read on:

On Friday 9 July we'll be auctioning off a rare prize: the ability to get your ugly mug on the money in the ALL NEW edition of War on Terror. Like this:

This is terribly exciting for two reasons.
(1) We're finally actually making edition two! Holy game development!
(2) You can be as infamous as the game itself, with your face appearing on the money of at least 5,000 War on Terrors being printed this summer

And if this weren't like all your Christmases/Hanukkahs/Eids/Kwanzaas/Winter Soltices/National Science Weeks (delete as appropriate) come at once, we're also giving 50% of everything we raise to Amnesty. So both you and we can feel good about narcissism. Where's the other 50% going, we hear you cry? Well, the whole reason we're doing this is to raise some cash to go towards producing our NEXT game. That's almost a better cause than Amnesty. It's win-win all the way...

Full details of this very special event are on this page: http://www.terrorbullgames.co.uk/moneyauction

Please, please, please help us spread the word around. Tell everyone who makes the mistake of coming within talking-distance of you. If no one comes within talking distance of you*, please buy a megaphone, or learn semaphore. If you must go down the semaphore route, please ensure the people you're signalling to also know semaphore .... so you may need to run a few free semaphore workshops in your local area before broadcasting your semaphore message. In which case, you may as well just tell those people face-to-face when they come in for the workshop. Easy.

* You might want to try showering too

Print-and-play: 'Operation BP: Bullshit Plug'

Tue, 15 Jun 2010 12:00:00 GMT

The standards that any game idea has to reach are pretty high before we'll even consider it for publication. It has to be right in so many ways that, invariably, many smaller ideas are left on the cutting room floor. But it seems a shame to leave them there, gathering dust, so we thought we should make quick, downloadable games and give them away. This would solve our problem.

So here it is Operation BP: Bullshit Plug: our first print-and-play game. You need nothing else but a printer, some card, some scissors and two pieces to serve as counters - pennies do nicely.

DOWNLOAD: High-res jpeg (1.3Mb) | PDF (2.6Mb)

This game is for two players. Each player takes a role - either 'BP' or 'The Public' and each player has two cards that represent two possible strategies. BP is trying to shore up its dwindling share price, while the public just want the leak plugged. Both players pick a strategy and play it face down, simultaneously. These are then revealed and the effects on the share price and the leak are worked out. This action is then repeated until the game ends. It's very simple, takes just a few minutes to play, but is also quite devilish and deceiving.

For the game-design/psychology geeks among you, Operation BP: Bullshit Plug is (as you probably know if you're a game-design/psychology geek) actually a variant of the classic Prisoner's Dilemma. In fact, it's a re-iterative prisoner's dilemma with a non-finite amount of iterations (although the iterations can safely be presumed to be fairly low in number). This makes co-operation in the game rather difficult.

Things to look out for: The game is best played without speaking. Let your actions communicate for you. In this way, co-operating and defecting can be used as both encouragement and punishment respectively. Also be aware for any patterns of tit-for-tat behaviour: these can either spiral out of control or lead to a calm compromise, depending on what behaviour is being mirrored. Above all, watch out for any possible penultimate moves in the game and think carefully about what the other player will likely play in this situation before stating your strategy.

Incidentally, there can be no greater satirical comment on this crisis than browsing the "In pictures: a response" section of the BP website. You can almost hear the grinding of marketing teeth each time they feel they have to stay on just the right side of the reality divide and include a shot of an oiled animal or soiled beach. Even those photos look remarkably clean and not much to worry about. The most incredible thing though is how everything reflects an air of calm, clean, professional control. No animals suffocating in oil, no ruined marshes, not, literally, a cloud in the sky. Now compare these.

Feel free to leave any feedback - we'll certainly do more if this turns out to be a good use for our 'reject' ideas.

This game is released under

Israel scores another defining victory in the War on Terror. Unfortunately it's an own goal.

Wed, 02 Jun 2010 12:00:00 GMT

Israel appears to have crossed the Rubicon from 'rogue state' to 'utterly bat-shit insane' state. Monday's attack on the 'freedom flotilla' - sorry, Jihadi terrorists - is almost impossible to balance with the idea that Israel is an ally and a friend; one of the 'good guys'. Clearly, if the Iranian Revolutionary Guard had boarded an aid flotilla of unarmed civilians, in international waters, in the middle of the night, shooting 10 Americans dead, we would now be commenting on the outbreak of World War III.

As the Telegraph's foreign editor, Con Coughlin, puts it, "Israel has developed a worrying habit of conducting itself in a way that even its friends find hard to defend" (and he should know). But while this tragedy is causing even Israel's staunchest supporters some difficulty, it's hard to see that any real measures will be taken against them. The illegal blockade (actually, shouldn't this be called a "seige"?) will remain. The settlements will remain (you mean, increase - Ed.). Our flow of support, aid and arms will all, sadly, remain. Why is this? Why can no one reign Israel in?

As long as Israel has US backing, no one will be able to. Persistent US endorsement of Israel's actions has established a narrative of a close ally and victim that is besieged on all sides but does what it must to defend itself. This narrative has permeated well beyond Israeli borders and Zionist discourse; it is a mainstream view.

So we witness, even in the darkest hours of Monday's killings, that the harshest words are regretful comments over the damage this has done to "Israel's PR" (imagine any news outlet phrasing 9/11 as a "PR disaster" for Al Qaeda). On top of this, Israeli spokespeople got virtually 100% of 'opinion' air time during the first 24 hours thanks to an effective news blackout caused by everyone else involved being detained in isolation. This allows a mixture of confusion and lies to permeate accounts and successfully derails the discussion from the most important facts: 1) the blockade is illegal 2) peaceful civilians were killed.

Ah, but they weren't peaceful, they had weapons and they beat the soldiers who clearly just wanted to make friends with them. And the passengers have links with Jihadi networks like Al Qaeda. Of course they do. This was a hallmark Al Qaeda operation by all measures, down to the Nobel Laureate, the best-selling author, the women and pensioners on board. Classic terror brigade. And as for those claims of being unarmed - could have fooled me. I saw them wielding deck chairs. The bastards! Fighting for their lives with improvised weaponry... it beggars belief!

Hang on, what's that amongst the weapons? Oh, not again ....

As Mark Steel observed, this haul was what "the naive might think you'd expect to find on any ship, but the more astute will recognise as exactly what you'd carry if you were planning to defeat the Israeli army".

Also noteworthy is the absence of 'celebrity' comment. While the Twitterati were all over the Iranian protests, they are now conspicuously silent. Stephen Fry, who last year 'tweeted', "Iranian govt should at least know we're watching & we care", is rather mute on the flotilla. Instead, he has been holding some kind of virtual anniversary party on his Twitter page. And Demi Moore, who not so long ago moved us all with this 'tweet': "My heart aches but I am inspired by the courage and strength of the Iranian people in the face of such opposition and adversity!" is now talking about her husband's new film. Rather bizarrely (and apparently irony-free) she has 're-tweeted' someone else's post, without comment; a quote from Elie Wiesel, Nobel Laureate and Holocaust survivor:

"Let us remember: what hurts the victim most is not the cruelty of the oppressor but the silence of the bystander."

Quite.

The election hasn't completely escaped us ...

Wed, 05 May 2010 12:00:00 GMT

It's the eve of our general election and ... well, we are terribly excited, we just can't begin to describe. Democracy is the shit, let me tell you that. Tomorrow, we get to choose which flavour of inept repression we'd most like for the next 5 years. You can have any flavour, as long as it's "self-serving".

Most likely, you'll be voting for someone you don't give a fig about, just because you don't want the Tories/Labour/LibDems getting in. Ahh, glorious democracy, how can we celebrate thee? (except for putting an 'x' in a box every 5 years)

Well, luckily, our resident illustrator extraordinaire has come to the rescue and given us a visual representation of the past few weeks. It's a beautiful tribute to a beautiful act, we hope you agree:

Cynical? Us?

'War on Terror' accepted into the Bodleian Library

Tue, 27 Apr 2010 12:00:00 GMT

You think we make this stuff up, don't you? If it's any consolation, it's hard for us also to get used to the surreal reach of our first board game. So it's true - War on Terror is now part of the John Johnson Collection of Printed Ephemera at the famous Bodleian Library in Oxford.

The Bodleian libraries are among the most renown and celebrated in the world and the John Johnson collection is one of the most important collections of printed ephemera in the world, so it's a bizarre honour to have War on Terror under their roof.

The John Johnson collection is a relatively new addition to the Bodleian but even from the start the original library was more than a collection of books and manuscripts - it has always housed objects of "scientific, exotic or historical interest". We'd like to think War on Terror is filed under 'exotic'.

Not sure where we go from here. War on Terror is proving a difficult beast to top - but we're working on it.

TBG at the BBC?

Fri, 23 Apr 2010 12:00:00 GMT

What's this? Us? At the BBC? Whatever could we be doing? Pitching the board game equivalent of 'Partridge Amongst the Pigeons'? Unfortunately nothing that good. But there could be something exciting on the horizon. Then again, maybe not. And we'll promptly pretend this blog entry never existed. Carry on.